dear teeth,

Oh my. I am so thankful for your continued presence. Since I adore food I am ever appreciative of my chompers and I'll tell you why.

When I was a kid I used to eat all manner of candy. Just junked out on it constantly. By comprising a list of as much candy as I can remember, I attempt to horror myself into vigilant dental care.

razzles
bagged cotton candy
reeses
snickers
grape bubble yum
grape now and laters
freshen up gum (green )
sugar daddys
grape sour gum balls (grape is SUCH an awesome flavor!)
those awful wax things that had that toxic liquid in it
pixie stix
sweet tarts
fuckin 2 foot long pixie stix!
krackle
black mints, oh man, would love to find those again
lifesavers
nestle crunch
hershey bars
cracker jacks, but not the peanuts
the occasional pez
eek. fake cigarettes
bubble gum cigars
cool mints
necklace candy
packets. PACKETS! of white sugar.
string licorice
jolly ranchers
watermelon anything
starburst
m&ms
jelly beans
oh god, even peeps. I ate peeps.

I am truly so nauseous right now I feel the need to lay down.

So teeth, I lovingly thank-you.
Any want a jordan almond? Just kid, I hated those.