I've avoided this post for a long while now because it will shred my heart and who volunteers for that

dear May 8th 2013,

While of course I realize I can't be angry with a date and I'm not angry.
I'm hurt.
You are after all a beautiful sounding date in the beautiful month of May.
On this day however, my world broke to pieces.
My heart knew at it's deepest core the feeling of anguish.
Taco died.
He was my soul dog.
Tennessee boy.
Dear heart.
 Friend.
Loving gaze eye contact.
100% benevolent.
Food lover.
Caretaker of me.
Hider from thunderstorms.
Incredibly joyful.
Magnificently present.
Aware.
Gentle.
Deep rooted soul.
He knew when Marc was "supposed" to be home and would face east in anticipation of his arrival.
Classic dog always interested in your whereabouts.
When he walked near me, I put my hand out and he exquisitely placed his head under my palm.
My heart knows he lives there now, but the pain of loss is cellular.
Molecules of unfettered moments that rise without warning and derail me.
Moments that one day will not cause pain, but will delight me with a memory of him.
For now though, I  try to be the beaming ball of wonderfulness that he thought I was.
But I miss those white eyelashes.
Miss them with every ounce of my being.
Love you dearly Taco.