serum schmerum

Why is it that the smallest bottles of :
wrinkle reliever
wrinkle filler
anti-aging
anti-wrinkle
skin plumping
fine line reducing
concentrated renewal
cellular renewal
balm
cream
masque
depuffers
correctors
and dark circle under eye removers
cost so much money for the TINIEST LITTLE BOTTLE???!

Gaaaahhhh! It's because we want to look lovely and the look of oldness is so friggin' frowned upon. So we are willing to try all this product to attempt to maintain/hearken back to our days of youth with all that firm skin that we never thought about until being bombarded with all this serum shit. It says that what we don't have is not as good as what we used to have. How about what we do have is pretty damn AWESOME?
Where's that positive statement? WE need to put that into our thoughts.

I've bought into the whole propaganda bullshit of non aging skin. As if that exists. And you know what? It's demeaning. Where are the ads showing the glorious looking wrinkly women? They're out there. I have seen them. My Mom is one of them. She has all these deep wrinkles AND her skin is lovely.

Let's embrace our face. Next time you walk by a mirror, I DARE YOU to look at yourself, do that 2 hands pointed like guns thing and then make that kinda "kch" sound that says "lookin' good toots." Do that and I bet there's a bit of an attitude shift.

And I'll do it too.

why be shitty?

For some time now, I have been working on being a "better" person. More kind, less harsh, not going to huffy behavior at the slightest provocation. And gosh darn, it feels nice to be able to find those moments of presence and positivity.

Yet I still have my moments. I am constantly trying to invent ways for me to creatively see the other side before I assume the worst in people. I thought I might share some of those.

1. When someone is going sooo incrrrredibly slow in front of me while driving, I think: " they must have a wedding cake in the car."

2.Or alternately, when someone is driving at an unsafe speed, I think: " they must have to poop really bad."

3.People who litter? Dropped on the head as a baby. Repeatedly.

4.Ann Coulter? About her I just say: " wow, she needs lots of prayers and blessings." I say that about many people.

5. I also say "well bless her/his heart" if I can't contain myself from saying a negative remark about a particular person. I'm not proud that I still make the remark but hey! I'm working on it.

 For me, it's all about not putting shitty vibes into the Universe. So, it's constant vigilance, but I feel it's a well worth it effort.

So perhaps we could try to curb our shitty behavior by utilizing our creative and zany brains to not go to the instantly bitchy side. Try it. It's fun. Feel free to send some pointers this way. 

And remember to tip well. To not do so is one of the utmost in shitty being-ness.

why are hoses such jerks?

Truly this puts me over the edge. And it's a little thing in life, I know it is. I do.

Why when I use a hose does it insist on coiling unto itself ? Kinking in to that dreaded "V" shape? Making me walk aaaall the way back to it,(usually a distance of a whole 6 or 7 feet) just so I can undo the snarled mess and resume the flower shower. It huffs me out everytime because I feel that the hose is being sooooo unreasonable but yet predictable.

I think that if I was watering the Guggenheim, that notably round-ish building,the nasty hose would wind itself around a steely New York blade of grass just to laugh at me. And taunt me. And make me feel bad for TOTALLY losing my temper and yelling at it. The hose, not the museum.

I guess if I write about this it's freeing in a way and I won't be so troubled next time I have to give my plants a drink. I'm trying, really, not to yell at the hose anymore. It frightens the dogs so.

Was that a rumble of thunder I just heard?