Sunday, November 17, 2013

To 2 dogs

dear north maple street,

In my mind I have already told you I won't exceed the speed limits posted. There was a time I, ( like a shitload of other drivers ) have driven too swiftly, particularly on that one corner. The one with the concrete barriers.

I realized then that I was driving too fast. Not 70 in a 30. Just too fast for that corner. So I drove with more awareness.

That is not the reason for my pledge to you dear north maple street. The reason is the bodies of 2 dogs that I have come upon.

The first was a cold dark January morning. I could see a person in the road ahead and slowed as I approached.  It wasn't hard to sense that this was bad and I started to feel the anxiousness and impending tears.

That was when I saw the pieces of the dog in the road. I don't know the circumstances and they don't feel important, but it seemed like perhaps the dog was chasing something when it was struck. Maybe I had to come up with a scenario that implied a very quick end for that dog.

I spoke to the person in the road saying I was so, so, so so sorry and could I stay to offer support but she said she had someone with her so I drove away.

That whole day all I could think about was the dog's owners, the person in the road and the dog. And try not to be consumed by the pain of all involved. It wasn't easy. I think I must have just blessed and sent prayers of comfort and cried.

That has never left me. I don't suppose it ever will.

The other dog was a sweet little white pup that had already been hit as well, but was left on the road. I pulled over and she was dead. When I went to move her to the side of the road, I saw her eye was bulged out and thought about her owners and their upcoming grief.

What bothers me to this day is that I did not try to find her owners. This was another dark morning and I was so upset and sobbing that I was afraid if I found her owners, they would think I had killed her.

I let fear guide my actions. And now shame beleaguers me.

And that is why I made a promise to a street.

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